I find it difficult to decipher sometimes whether the negative energy coming my way originates from me or from the outside environment. I understand those who say what you feel inside is what is reflected back to you, but there are times when I’m actually having a pretty good day and something negative comes sauntering up from what seems like nowhere and hits me in the face.
It’s like the twitter post I saw recently that made me laugh (it went something like this):
Me: Hey, I’m having a pretty good day. I’m happy and good with things right now.
Life: LOL. Wait a sec.
So what are we supposed to do with that? Sometimes I’m tired of fixing myself and being positive when some things are downright just wrong. Ya know what I mean?
That’s when I pick myself up and stand up for myself. It’s like I’m in a bar and I’ve heard enough of your yackin’. I slam the beer down, draw myself up, roll up the sleeves, take the watch off and invite the intruder outside. Well, I’d like to think I do that. It’s harder than it looks, believe me…
It’s about boundaries and all that. I get it. But when is it you say for real “I’ve had enough!” ?? I can’t take it anymore!! I’d like to think I am quietly assertive and roll with things pretty well, but I admit, there are times I just sit and listen, take quiet breaths, and try to be in a calm place but it just DOES NOT WORK.
Like when my kids refuse to wash their hands after going to the bathroom and the doorknobs get sticky leading to the bathroom… eeeew.
Like when the neighbor’s hound dogs (all three of them) bay at my poor little dog day after day when she’s just trying to go outside and pee. (Okay, I promise it’s not all about the bathroom that makes me want to scream.)
Or when I get a toxic e-mail, voice mail or text that I clearly did not deserve, and from someone who barely knows me but thinks she does. All that negativity spewing at me from my favorite electronic device. It’s just not fair. I refuse to believe I put that out there for myself to “reap…” ! I really am such a happy person at my core. I can subscribe to the fact that some toxicity comes from inside, like the gurus are telling us, but sometimes…. sometimes it really does come from another very unhappy place.
So when does your “toxic” button get pushed? I’d like to hear some great stories.