Time to let go of Perfect

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I have always been a planner.  I write to-do lists, plan out my vacations one year to 8 months in advance, look to a calendar of meetings and events with a sense of joy and accomplishment.  But being married to a pilot with ADD (undiagnosed by any professional but I swear it’s undeniable) and having 5 kids and two full time jobs between us — you learn a couple things.  One of them is time is not your own.  Second is, it’s not really controllable unless you want to become a certified freak. 

My kids will say I’m the latter.  Yes, it can be said I keep tabs on them via cyberstalking, try to control their intake of all things bad for their health and God forbid any one of them crosses the threshold with a “C” grade or less.  But in the last almost four years, I have been able to let go of a few things:

  • My house is not always 100% picked up — although this does cause me some angst.
  • My car is not always clean and the tank filled past 1/2 a tank — always in the past, that had to be the rule
  • Sometimes my nails are not really presentable — chipped polish, etc.
  • I may occasionally go more than 5 weeks in-between haircuts — we won’t talk about the consequences here

I know that to some people, these are just small things — part of the human existence, but for someone like me, these small pieces of control were difficult to release.  I had to understand that no one really cared about these things even a tiny bit, except for me.  And if I could let them go, all would be well and there would be no catastrophic events occurring in the universe.

Now, when there’s a band concert or play that I didn’t know about and my husband texts me at work to tell me he just found out about it, I roll with the punches.  We get take out and shove ourselves into the car(s).  Because inevitably another kid also has another gig he/she needs to be attending at the same time.  And because it’s about living the moments we’re given more than it’s about planning everything out perfectly.

It’s hard for me to admit and sometimes hard for me to believe, but Perfect can be kinda boring sometimes. (Don’t tell Perfect because sometimes I still like to visit there….) 😉

Happy Holidays everyone, and let go of the Perfect!

New Year, New Blog

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First of the year and my first blog, at age 47, going into my 48th year.  I’ve always written, but always for other people.  This will be for me.  In the meantime, I hope it is insightful, fun and entertaining for you.  At this stage in my life, I have definite ideas about some things, very vague ideas about others.

For example, is it too late in my life to start thinking about what I’d like to do with the rest of my life?  How to really enjoy and love what I do?  Whether I get paid or not for what it is that I do, at this point would be great but might not matter as much as the creation of it… whatever IT may be.

I hope you take the time in 2013 to think about this.  Whether you are 18 or 80, or somewhere in between (like me).  What things in life make it real?  What things do you enjoy, even when you are by yourself and not sharing it with others?  What makes you tick?  And how do you give that back to the world?  Because I believe that is why God truly made us.  To be a part of Him by finding our joy, giving it to the world and really living live, not just existing.  Eyes wide open.  Deep breath.  This could be a brand new year for us all.